The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) - Blu-ray Review

'Doesn't exactly offer a narrative, rather a collection of undeveloped ideas loosely strung together to kill time before Six can arrive at his titular abomination'.

Having already squandered just over a hundred minutes I can never get back watching The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence), I'm not prepared to throw away more time than is absolutely necessary waxing lyrical on Tom Six's closing chapter for one of the most obnoxious film trilogies ever dreamt up. To avoid wasting words on Six's film as well, let's keep this blunt: The Human Centipede 3 is one of the worst films ever made.

That's essentially all you need to know, but just in case there's still part of you inclined to give this festering garbage a try thanks to a niggling perverse curiosity (essentially the reason I ended up watching it), let me elaborate on the reasons why The Human Centipede 3 fails miserably and comprehensively at everything it attempts.

If the crux of Six's franchise is to push the "torture porn" subgenre to its limits, then this never comes anywhere close. Aside from a few uninspired scenes of graphic violence and mutilation, this is regularly a toothless affair that fans of the previous two films' notoriously extreme sadism will surely find quite dull. There are numerous occasions where the director could have offered some shocking and effective splatter, but chooses to neuter the action by having it take place off-screen; there are several points where Six simply misses these opportunities all together.

The attempts to parody a B-movie grindhouse style continually fall flat thanks to Six's complete ineptitude in crafting any successful humour throughout his amateurish script. Moreover, the one thing Six does succeed in making The Human Centipede 3 is a self-congratulatory ego trip. The director takes several opportunities to reference his previous films, attempting at a few points to take a wry swipe at the critical reaction they received but misfiring completely every time, merely coming across as arrogant and self-obsessed.

Even the basics here don't work. Six's returning stars Dieter Laser and Laurence R. Harvey severely lack the talent to make this even passably enjoyable. Laser in particular shouts and bellows his way through the film in a misguided attempt to cover up the black hole of acting talent that The Human Centipede 3 presents. The script meanwhile doesn't exactly offer a narrative, rather a collection of undeveloped ideas loosely strung together to kill time before Six can arrive at his titular abomination in the final half an hour.

The film's conclusion seems to suggest that Six's whole agenda has actually been to make some kind of satirical comment on American society. Anyone who has been paying even a little attention throughout will already know this is patently not the case. The Human Centipede 3 is an unholy concoction of bad ideas, bad acting, half-hearted gore and directorial ego-stroking. Add into that mix the racism and misogyny peppered throughout, and that should tell you all you need to know about Six's film.

The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) is released in selected UK cinemas from Friday 10th July, and is released on UK Blu-ray, DVD and digital download on Monday 20th July 2015.

By Ben Broadribb. Ben is a regular contributor to Film Intel, having previously written at Some Like It Hot Fuzz. He is normally seen in the wild wearing t-shirts containing obscure film references. He is a geek, often unashamedly so. He's also on Google+ and Twitter.