Movie 43 - DVD Review

'I’ll say it again in case you missed that. Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman are in a sketch about a guy with balls on his neck.'

Maybe it was a flash of temporary insanity. Maybe it was a jolt of morbid curiosity. Maybe it was the quite reasonable idea that a film featuring this many talented actors and actresses – from established Hollywood veterans like Richard Gere and Uma Thurman to young rising stars such as Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Chloë Grace Moretz – must have at least a smattering of redeeming moments.

Whatever it was that compelled me to ignore the overwhelmingly negative critical and popular reaction and sit down to watch Movie 43, I’ve never regretted an impulse more. For so extraordinarily terrible is this film, I feel like I owe anyone who has in any way been involved in creating a film that I haven’t yet seen an apology for watching Movie 43 before theirs.

It’s in no way a hyperbole when I say Movie 43 has precisely zero redeeming features. Imagine sitting on YouTube for an hour and a half clicking on one amateur video after another and you’ve essentially got the 'structure' of this film. Except on YouTube you’re likely to eventually find a video which in some way amuses or entertains you. Every sketch presented here utterly fails as comedy. Despite most only lasting around five minutes, all of them drag.

Movie 43 plumbs the very deepest depths and spans the enitre spectrum of the low-brow, from the scatological to the sexually depraved to the downright racist. The various writers of the sketches comprehensively make the same mistake: they assume that being outrageously offensive is the same as being funny. It isn’t, and Movie 43 may be the best example yet of why this is. Humour and causing offense aren’t mutually exclusive; some of the finest comedic minds of all time have pushed the boundaries of what is acceptable. The difference is that those making Movie 43 aren’t aware that the boundaries even exist.

The most baffling feature of this cinematic atrocity is the cast list. Names such as Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott aren’t too surprising to find here. But the opening skit, where the joke centres around oddly positioned male genitalia, features Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman. I’ll say it again in case you missed that. Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman are in a sketch about a guy with balls on his neck. And the big names keep on coming.

What’s more, most of the stellar cast seriously seem to believe that what they’re making is worthwhile. Winslet and Jackman don’t sleepwalk through their anatomically improbable first date, they actually act. It’s excruciating, even infuriating, to watch such talent put to waste again and again playing out such puerile, unfunny drivel.

In case you haven’t yet twigged, I can’t find one solitary reason to recommend Movie 43 when there are so many other films out there far more worthy of your time. Don’t be taken in by spotting your favourite actor or actress in the credits, just watch your favourite film from their back catalogue again instead. It doesn’t matter what it is, it will definitely be much, much better than this.

By Ben Broadribb. Ben is a regular contributor to Film Intel, having previously written at Some Like It Hot Fuzz. He is normally seen in the wild wearing t-shirts containing obscure film references. He is a geek, often unashamedly so. He's also on Google+ and Twitter.