Film Intel's Fight Club - Superman Returns vs The Dark Knight

It was always going to happen. At some point The Fight Club had to be between two superhero films. Before their respective sequel and reboot hit then, The Fight Club is proud to present Superman Returns taking on The Dark Knight in the most irreverent and inconsequential battle either one of them has ever fought. Caped Crusader, ready? Man Of Steel, ready? Fight!

First Google Image Result (above)

Hard to imagine much better starts. Superman Returns (SR) just beats out The Dark Knight (DK) by virtue of being slightly larger and taking up more of the page. Size matters.

SR: 9/10
DK: 8/10

Best Piece Of Parental Guidance On IMDb

In a very typical bit of 'inadvertently summing up the whole feel of the film', SR's parent's guide tells us that 'there are a few scenes where characters start to say a cuss word but the scene cuts off before they finish'. The very first line of DK's guide hilariously informs us that 'Rachel kisses Bruce in detail', which is obviously the opposite of kissing Bruce in brief(s).

SR: 6/10
DK: 8/10

Best Character Name

Fairly slim pickings for two films about men in capes which are itching to be taken seriously. Luckily, a typo on the SR cast and credits page gives us 'Daily planted reporter'. Don't forget to water him. There's really nothing in DK that stands up to that. Gambol is the best it has.

SR: 9/10
DK: 2/10

Best Quote

In a film where Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor gets all of the best lines its sad to report that hardly a single one of them is quotable. The promotional material made great use of the exchange between Lex and Lois (Kate Bosworth) which ends with him telling her she is 'WRRRONG!' but that's about it. DK wins by a fair margin with the iconic description of Joker; 'no matches on prints, DNA, dental. Clothing is custom, no labels. Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint. No name, no other alias'

SR: 3/10
DK: 8/10

Best Comparison

One poster on this board writes that 'comparing the 60's Batman (which I prefer) to the DK is like comparing The Monkees to the Beatles' wherein actual fact it is like comparing a product whose only value is nostalgia to a rather good film. Another poster here writes that 'debating which movie had the stupider villain plan... Ghost Rider or SR... is like arguing which piece of rotten, maggot-filled fruit tastes the best'. Criticism of SR can sink quite low but comparing it to Ghost Rider? That's too low.

SR: 5/10
DK: 5/10

Best Tweet

With every man and his dog reporting any little tidbit about The Dark Knight Rises searching for people talking about the second film is nigh on impossible. Add this feature to the list of things that the Internet has managed to break by engaging in unsubstantiated rumour-mongering. @ginger_avengerr tweets that the 'new movie with brandon routh looks shitty'. I am afraid he is entirely right in this regard.

SR: 5/10
DK: 0/10

Best Rotten Tomatoes Review

Everyone's favourite UK critic Christopher Tookey writes of DK that 'the plot is often impossible to follow' which makes me wonder how the hell he managed with Memento. The quote garnered four-hundred and nineteen comments. That will teach him. Annoy the geeks and they will come after you with comments in their droves. In the biggest piece of 'no, that doesn't really help' advice ever given, Stefan Birgir Stefansson tells us that SR is 'better than 3 and 4'. Really? Do tell.

SR: 7/10
DK: 6/10

Best Piece Of IMDb Trivia

The SR trivia mainly details the project's chequered past which, far and above a mere trivia section, could fill a whole book. The reminder that, once upon a time, McG was going to direct the film serves as notice that this could have been much worse. Now perhaps a well known piece of trivia about DK but, for such a dark film, the fact that blood is only actually seen on screen three times is still remarkable.

SR: 6/10
DK: 7/10

A turn up for the books as underdog Superman Returns beats The Dark Knight by a score of 50/80 to 44/80. The Dark Knight put up a tough fight but ultimately its failure to score on the twitter question hurt it in the final reckoning. The Matrix still stands proud at the top of The Fight Club leader board but 50 points is enough to put Superman Returns in sole charge of second place.

Film Intel's Fight Club: where two films get pushed head-to-head over such irreverent issues as 'first Google image result' and 'best IMDb parental guidance entry'. All films are marked out of ten on each topic with a possible maximum score of 80 - it won't tell you anything about the quality of the film (or will it?) but it might give you a few giggles. Or it might not. We'll see.