Inkheart - DVD Review

'the book had an underlying message about the value of the written word. The film half-heartedly tries to carry this through but knows that it's really saying, 'books are so valuable, we've made this one into a movie''

Kids movies of late have been pretty damn good with The Spiderwick Chronicles and, in particular, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events having genuine cross-over appeal for kids and adults and showing that movie studios can occasionally treat children as intelligent beings rather than portals to parental wallets.

High hopes abound then for Inkheart, another literary adaptation with similar fantasy themes. We alternatively follow Father and Daughter Folchart (Brendan Fraser and Eliza Bennett) who, together and apart are trying to get their spouse/mother (Sienna Guillory) from her imprisonment in the book 'Inkheart'. At the same time various characters in the book are roaming our world having a lark of a time whilst a few 'good' ones (Paul Bettany's 'Dustfinger') are trying to find their way home.

The MacGuffin that makes all of this possible is Frazer and Bennett's ability to bring novels to life by reading from the page which brings to mind all sorts of possibilities; a dragon to defend yourself perhaps, a robot or two from a sci-fi classic, how about a famous character like Peter Pan to help you on your way? But no, the film plumbs for the thief out of Ali Baba, Toto the dog from The Wizard of Oz and a few more animalistic side characters who get minor parts in this too. In all, it's a wasted opportunity although to be fair, licencing rights may have prevented a cross-over spectacular in which Harry Potter saves the day.

As a whole the sub-par characters imported by Fraser and Bennett are representative of the film as a whole. There's just enough dread to keep kids interested but not as much as there is in Spiderwick to really challenge them. There's some interesting set design and for that matter set pieces, but not as much as there is in Lemony Snickett to feed their imaginations. In all there's just... not enough of anything really.

I haven't read the book but bits of the film seem to hint that it had an underlying message about the value of the written word. The film half-heartedly tries to carry this through but knows that it's really saying, 'books are so valuable, we've made this one into a movie' and so gives up pretty early on. If it had been released 10 years ago, Inkheart probably would of made a decent fantasy-adventure but with comedy villains that are more comedy than villain and a simple 'rescue and protect' story that doesn't quite measure up, it falls a long way short of other available offerings.

Burn After Reading, Avatar, District 9 release dates and a somewhat general level of dissatisfaction

Unfortunately, this week has been somewhat of a disappointment in terms of the movie-watching pantheon. It's difficult to know where it began but I'd guess it started somewhere around the orbit of realising District 9's UK and US release dates were a month different, moved on to going and then not going to The Time Traveller's wife and concluded with a big whack-bang of Burn After Reading and the Avatar Trailer. But hey, first things first.

UK and US release date differences are highly, highly irritating for a number of reasons. Firstly, the press in England generally sees films as soon as they are available anywhere in the world so as soon as a film is released in the US, reviews and extended previews start appearing here not just from bloggers (which is very welcome) but from the general press corps who increasingly appear hell bent on spoiling entire films. Whilst the blogging of such releases is also great it would be nice to join in the discussion on them, rather than having to postpone any input for a month until some guy in a suit passes judgement that appropriate time has passed and the Director and star are available to do premieres and interviews.

Secondly, there is a big conspiracy theory that 3D is being pushed by auteurs and studios because it will eradicate or severely damage film piracy levels. I can tell you something now: globally identical release dates will do the same thing. I've seen at least two websites with District 9 on them, available to play directly from the site with no download and no fee. If the film was available in the cinema at least you are relying on the global conscious of the public to make a decision rather than relying on their (significantly weaker) willpower to wait another month until its official release.

Rant over. For now. My replacement for going to see District 9 (which was more annoying because I had convinced myself it was out this week!) was to be The Time Traveller's wife with The Misses. I can't say it was my sort of thing but hey, it was a new film at the cinema. Until we realised that due to the extremely poor crop of 'the kids are on summer holidays lets release any mindless old drivel to give the parents a night off' films our local cinema was showing, it had sold out. Balls.

At least the end of the week had the arrival of the much waited for Burn After Reading from Lovefilm and the trailer release for Avatar. Surely they would save us, right? Right?! Well no. Burn After Reading is all sorts of averageness. It seems confused about whether it is an ensemble drama with a mildly amusing plot or a comedy with mildly ensembled actors. As is always the case with films confused about what they are, it ends up being neither. Not funny enough to be comedy, not interesting enough to be a drama. The Cohen Brother's trope of killing off characters who don't necessarily deserve it is also becoming rather predictable and rather annoying. You knew what was going to happen to a number of the components of the plot which screws the idea up all together. Clooney is the only one of the cast who really stands out and his confused bodyguard is both funny and dramatic, entering and exiting a mid-life crisis via Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton and Frances McDormand who are guilty of perpetrating the above lack of state.

And so to Avatar to save my week. And did it? Did it hell. General web reaction has been a mildly 'interested but un-impressed' shrug in its preposterously CGI'd direction. If it's going to use 3D in the revolutionary way it claims it will be worth seeing just for that. If it's going to be a titanic battle straight from the hard drive of my Xbox then it's going to be snore inducing. A pretty prominent web blogger went as far as to suggest it looked like we could be in for a full-length version of Jar Jar Binks: The Movie which is a truly worrying and disturbing thought on the same level as Britain suddenly capsizing and falling into the sea and, on evidence, might not be too far off.

At this rate, I could very well be looking at the definition of a long summer.

Top 5 Not To See For The Rest of 2009

If the previous list for Films to watch out for in 2009 was a Preview does that make this one a Deview? Anyway, regardless of what you call it, here are 5 films not to spend your time and cash on for the rest of the year (because you'll be too busy watching the other ones, right? Right?!).



5. Where the Wild Things Are



The book is an absolute classic and this will either follow suit or tank. I'm really not sure about Spike Jonze as Director. He's skilled behind the camera no doubt but can he make a touching, moving kids film with adult themes? Weird suits in the trailer and behind-the-scenes squabbles with the studio (who didn't like the first cut) hint that this might not quite cut mustard.



4. Funny People



I just do not get Seth Rogen (see earlier post about Pineapple Express and Role Models) and I can't claim to be Adam Sandler's biggest fan, in fact, I'm beginning to wonder if I have a sense of humour at all! In all seriousness, this looks like being more jokes about body parts that I could of made up and delivered with more skill than Jonah Hill who is fast becoming one of my pet hates.



3. Saw VI



I'm not sure this needs explanation. The first one was innovative with a great twist that had you in all sorts of knots. The rest have been less so. Derivative genre-trash that is coming out far to regularly. Stop please. Now.



2. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time



Heavily featured in the Empire preview issue which half-inspired the previous list, which begged the question... why? Has nobody noticed it's an adaptation of a video game? What was the last good one of those we had? I suppose Super Mario Bros and Street Fighter were alright weren't they? Wait... no... I'm just being told they were utter garbage. It's also Bruckheimer which means he will find someway to blow something up in ancient Persia. Add to that the fact you've got a non-action hero, action hero in Gyllenhall and you've got a whole load of problems. I mean look at that picture. He looks like he's seen a giant evil bunny rabbit for God's sake.

1. New Moon



The first one was romance posing as horror with bad acting from a good actress (Kristen Stewart) and horrendous acting from a bad actor (Robert Pattinson). It also featured an awful script with passages ripped directly out of the book (which I'm also no big fan of) attached to scenes that weren't (witness the muddled scene in the hospital, candidate for worst scene of the year). Comedy villains, sparkly chests, a grand total of one action scene and a lot of campness and mumbling all round made for probably my least favourite film of last year. If anyone is willing to bet that this will be different I'll gladly take your money.

Let The Right One In - DVD Review

'this is minimalist horror at it's best. This is horror from the country that gave us Ikea'

Let The Right One In starts with simple white on black credits appearing and disappearing on screen, changing slowly to snowflakes doing almost exactly the same. If you're looking for a clue to the pace and tone of the film, it's right there. This is minimalist horror at it's best. This is horror from the country that gave us Ikea.

In almost every critical reaction to the film, people have talked about how LTROI is more than just a horror film. And in some ways I see the argument. At its deepest point LTROI is about two isolated children trying to move through the world in their own ways. The immediate aftermath to that opening, with angelic loner Oskar stabbing a tree and screaming 'squeal Piggy' has definite echoes of Golding's Lord of The Flies, another poem to the child-like reactions to isolation and loneliness.

But at it's deepest point, all horror, even the supernatural, has some relevance, relation or even grounding in the real world. This is not the film that should be held up as exceptional because it does relate to real life problems, but an exceptional example of the theory.

There are problems that for me, prevented the film from being perfect. The final act spends too much time focusing in on the character who becomes the 'Vampire Hunter', a significantly less interesting character to the two children and who's fate is inevitable. Similarly, in the world of the adults, isolation is represented by a man living alone with his cats. More of an image or metaphor than a character, a representation of what awaits Oskar when he grows up, he simply isn't developed well enough and one of the few moments of CGI in the film centres on him and is so poor it takes you completely out of the film.

However, LTROI comes pretty darn close and many critics and viewers will no doubt have been wooed by the pitch-perfect final scene, following on from beautiful cinematography and direction throughout. It ends up somewhere near to Stand By Me and the aforementioned Lord of The Flies and easily aspires to, and reaches, the heights of both compositions. The best thing to come out of Sweden since well... Ikea furniture.

Continued: Top 10 Films For the Rest of The Year

And so, after a hefty delay in order to complete 'proper' work, here concludes that most lets-fill-some-space of lists: The Preview List.



5. The Informant



Damon plays an awkwardly gawky (is there any other way to be gawky?) whistle blower working undercover for the F.B.I. A comedy version of The Insider beckons with early trailers looking at a level of hilarity somewhere between slapstick and Ricky Gervais.

Verdict: Potentially the funniest film of the year or a pitfall for Damon back into Stuck On You territory



4. The Box



Donnie Darko Director Kelly returns with Marsden, Diaz and Langela in tow. The Box in question has a button which credits the Marsden/Diaz couplet with $1million but kills someone somewhere in the world. Looks less convoluted than Darko but appearances can be deceptive.

Verdict: Darko fans will flock and return satisfyingly enlightened or muttering sweet nothings and asking for Kelly to make a rom-com as his next.



3. Dorian Gray



A high entry for Dorian Gray but this is one of the most important, yet underrated, books in English Literature. Trailer hints at a tone on the right side of dark and key to making it palatable will be to keep Wilde's wry humour without making it overly camp. Ben Barnes and Colin Firth are good casting choices.

Verdict: A period drama for the ages and making of Barnes or disappointing adaptation that nobody dares attempt again for another 10 years.



2. The Road



Early trailers and plot leaks had me unimpressed by The Road but recent updates have made me take another look. Viggo Mortensen plays a father trying to navigate his son through post-apocalyptic America. Early Oscar buzz suggest it could be a major winner.

Verdict: One of the years best or actually I can no longer see an or for this. It will be one of the years best (he says, confidently).



1. Avatar



Which had to be number one. Everyone from Avatar's Director James Cameron to Steven Speilberg is talking it up as amazing. Recent early-release footage, shown only to a select few behind closed doors also seems to have got the critical elite on its side. Almost viral style marketing campaign, keeping the plot under wraps until the last minute has skyrocketed expectation and publicity. The fact that this could be the first serious film in 3D is also exciting and will prove a measure of the genre. There will not be a bigger film than this this year.

Verdict: The most important film of the year which lays the way forward for cinema in the 21st century or the death knell for 3D cinema's comeback.

Taken - DVD Review

'witness his first take down of a bad dude with a knife, easy-peasy, squash his head and break his arm in two, squeezy'

When Taken was released I remember a flurry of reviews from bloggers and forum users in America giving it rave ratings. The weird thing was, these came significantly after the English reviews. The only possible conclusion (without having done a shred of research) is that the release dates were back to front from the norm and rather different. Which normally only means one thing. Someone, somewhere, wasn't entirely happy.

And on watching Taken you can see why. It's not a great script or plot but it's at least functionally standard action movie fare. Ex-Covert Ops specialist Liam Neeson's daughter has been kidnapped. All he has as a starting point is a recording of the kidnapper and a whole-lot of willing to do all kinds of dirty deeds.

The parallels with Bourne are relatively immediate (fair enough, Bourne is looking for his identity, not his daughter, but it's a very similar plot arch) and once the film kicks in they become even more apparent. The gritty action and shakier camera views of the Greengrass flicks are all present and correct and the ever-deepening mystery where the audience faces reveals at the same pace as the character all play a prominent role in crafting Taken.

So far so standard. So what's up with it? Well in short, Neeson. As a grizzled old-time hero he'd be great but in the role of Bourne-esque Superman, not so much. Witness his first take down of a bad dude with a knife, easy-peasy, squash his head and break his arm in two, squeezy. And things really don't get much harder for him. Sure he has to take a few punches, but you never really feels he's under threat, which he really should be if the film had any aspirations above merely average.

Mainly due to this but with the aid of some 'my-best-friends-got-a-satellite' level plotting, Taken never really creates an air of believability from start to finish. Standard action fare that's worse than standard action fare.

Top 10 Films For the Rest of The Year

This month's Empire has that staple of modern film journalism writing: the old 'we-don't-know-what-to-do-with-20-odd-pages-of-copy-so-lets-do-a-preview' article. However, in typically frustating fashion the plethora of films it mentions aren't in any discernible order so come the end of it are we in any way shape or form more enlightened as to what Empire is tipping to be good this year? No. Of course not. Because what with it being a film magazine that would be just silly...

Anyway, enough bashing or what is still probably the best film publication your pennies can get you nowadays. for your convinience here's what I'm looking forward to from the list... in order you understand.



10. Whiteout



Based on a graphic novel, the one liner in the Empire preview got me interested. In terms of look of the poster, location and not-too-happy plot, it appears to have something in common with 30 Days of Night which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Verdict: Conversely could be a sleeper-blockbuster hit or throwaway action rubbish from the Director of Gone in 60 Seconds



9. Sherlock Holmes



Trailers make it look as though it isn't going to be the film that is finally brave enough to mirror the source material as many had hoped it would be. Downey will do a good job but he isn't quite the depraved Holmes of the books which Depp in From Hell (as someone who isn't called Holmes) is still closest to. Still good summer fun all round.

Verdict: Ritchie's first succesful forray out of modern gang-land London draws critical acclaim or critical bashing which means Ritchie returns to what he knows for another 5 years.



8. District 9



Ambitious science-fiction dealing with a vast array of pertinent issues. Peter Jackson's involvement merits interest from critical masses.

Verdict: This year's Cloverfield or This year's Cloverfield



7. The Fantastic Mr. Fox



The choice of Wes Anderson as director will mean this either catches the cooky, endearing charm of the book or dissapears in a haze of hokum smoke. Early clips of animation look fantastic.

Verdict: Anderson converts and produces main stream animation or Anderson converts main stream animation.



6. Shutter Island



Heavyweights DiCaprio, Sir Ben Kingsley and erm... Mark Ruffalo team up for Marty's latest offering about a mysterious island mental hospital. Trailer appears to give away too much if you're paying attention but stars look on top form.

Verdict: Marty repeats The Departed glory or akin to knowing Sixth Sense twist before seeing the film.


Top 5 will round out this beautiful list tomorrow.