Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Cinema Review

I’ll admit two things before we jump into the exact reason why I wasn’t so keen on the latest and (hopefully) last Indiana Jones. The first is this is the last of my trilogy of ‘sitting on a plane over the ocean’ reviews and therefore I didn’t see this on the screen I’m sure it deserved. The second is that I, like a few more people out there, was sceptical about this from the minute I heard about the Alien thread and therefore needed to be won over from the minute I opened the door and took my seat in the theatre… no wait… plane!

Without launching into a diatribe about what Lucas did to the Star Wars franchise with, particularly, the abysmal Episode II, it’s pretty clear that the guy who gave us the fedora and a galaxy far far away and er… Howard the Duck doesn’t necessarily have the penchant for a decent story than he once did and I couldn’t help getting that sinking feeling again while I was watching this. Even those of you who will leap to his defence and say it wasn’t so bad should consider this; do you really think Frank Darabont’s script could have been any worse than what you watched?

Part of the point and appeal of Indie is that he always stood for old school charm and values in a new and developing world. In Raiders he uses a rope to get into a plane, in Doom, the gong is practically a roman shield against the guns of the gangsters, in Kingdom the same charm just isn’t there for a fridge against… well that would probably be spoiling it but most people get my drift.

Aside from this there’s the completely upheld fact that Ford is just too old while the youth of Mutt isn’t relevant nor rebellious enough to justify a Brando outfit completely out of place apart from the scene in the bar. When the family Jones all get together as well there is far too much ribbing of the pater-familius and other associated members of the clan to not make you feel like you’re suddenly watching an episode of The War at Home only that, again, Ford is more Grey than Ginger!

It’s not a total disaster as some, including me feared though and there were some decent lines which make for what is at least a watchable fourth instalment. But whenever I start thinking about the good parts I just think back to the ants and Blanchett’s dodgy Russain accent and the cave people and the waterfall and that. Damn. Fridge. Scene.